Yes, I'm In Contempt, Big Time!

Ok, I've finally seen the light. I've always wondered how people can get themselves cited for contempt of court. Just "cliente la boca"--that is, SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

Ha.

I found that I could not shut my mouth.

You see, I am managing the rental houses that we sold in December for the new owners, as they are dealing with some serious health issues. They also live on the East Coast of Florida, travel frequently, and she is an airline stewardess. Needless to say, some doofy house in Yankeetown is not going to be high on the "I want to show up there" list. A current tenant, who shall for our purposes be named Joe, had not paid rent for May and June, and currently has October due as well. He made a partial payment when I threatened eviction, but still owes $1400. I filed the papers for eviction, giving evidence of my lease with him, his formal notice of nonpayment, and my notarized statement of my position as landlord's agent for the property. All were accepted, along with a $195 check for "filing fee". The court date was set, and two weeks later, we arrive at today.

I arrive at quarter to one, with a court time of 1 pm. We are informed at 1:15 there will be a delay. Indefinite delay. An hour goes by, an hour and half, Sarah (who was with me) and I were making games out of counting the tiles on the floor. Finally, at 2:49 pm, we go into the courtroom. He was a stone-faced geezer (I can say that now) who was in a "no crap here" kind of mode. I explain why I'm there, wait for him to speak. He takes my paperwork, says there will be a short recess. I'm thinking, well, maybe he has diarrhea?! I could certainly understand getting up and leaving abruptly. So Sarah and I joke with the bailiff a bit, he asks her questions about school, Nintendo DS, etc. Finally, about ten minutes later, the stone-faced judge returns. Without looking at me or anyone else in the room, he says, in a pretty quiet voice, case dismissed. I was like, WHAT?! But instead, I said, I beg your pardon? He says, you have no real interest in the property and cannot file this claim. I say, well, I did bring the notarized statement allowing for me to represent the owner and I am also the landlord on the lease. He says, case dismissed, we are adjourned. I say, I am simply managing the property for the owner who is having a bone marrow transplant and won't be able to appear in court for at least two months. He says sternly, We are adjourned, you don't have real interest in the property and this is the wrong venue for the claim. I say, and yes, I did actually say, That's ridiculous! I am the landlord's agent and the tenant needs to be removed for nonpayment to the owner. (Joe did not show up, of course.) He says, WHAT did you say to me? DID you SAY something to me? (breaking his stone-face for the first time). I said, I am simply asking a question, since you say it is the wrong venue, where should it be filed and by whom? If it's been wrongly filed, I'd like to know where to file it and who should do the filing?! He says, I don't have time to be your legal advice. WE ARE ADJOURNED. I say, You are a sorry old bastard who should have retired years ago to do who knows what since I guarantee no family is around your sorry A** because you are a nasty, no good, bastard of a judge! Ok, I didn't say that part, but I was thinking it for sure, and if I had, no doubt contempt would've been on it's way and I'da been sittin' my sorry butt in jail for the night. Contempt of Court? YOU BET I HAVE IT!

So gee, I wonder how people who live in Canada and rent their house in Florida evict someone? Or people who are 90 and can't move? Or people who, I don't know, WORK and have rentals as a SIDE BUSINESS!? Oh, the things I would like to have said to him. Sarah's comment as we walked out? "Gee, Momma, I don't think he liked you too much!" I said, "You're definitely right about that, but the feeling was mutual." "What's mutual?" she said. I said, "I thought he was a big jerk-wadder, too." (Thanks Jonny, I love that jerk-wadder word.)

Anyhow, for all you non-court people like I used to be:

THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS HOW YOU END UP IN CONTEMPT!

I really ought to just "cliente la boca."